The Victorian working class mother was so exhausted from working, both outside and inside the home, she rarely had energy enough on most occasions to devote to her children. Despite the children's loyalty to their mother they found their mother on occasion to be harsh and indifferent to their need for attention. A working mother's love was shown through their provision of food and helping keep a roof over the children's heads.

The father also played an important part in the family unit as the provider. He most often spent most of his time out of the home working or enjoying his own personal pursuits. Upon arriving home, as the provider, he usually had special privileges such as a special chair only he could use, the need for peace and quiet during meals or leisure time. There was also an "alcohol" problem in the working class and sometimes that problem led to violent/abusive behavior as well as less money for food and other necessities.

A. S. Jaspar in Hoxton Childhood wrote: "What a tower of strength my mother was! There was no help from my father; he carried on in his own drunken way and had no feeling for any of us. . . . We seldom saw him. It was only at week-ends that his presence was felt. He would start on us over something trivial and we would go and stand around Mum. We knew we were safe when she was around."³

While sons idealized their mother, it was the daughters who knew the mother's position better as she typically followed in her mother's footsteps. Later the sons would challenge their father's behavior often leading to conflict between the two. Of course not all working class families fell into this stereotype, but the children's reactions would be different depending on the circumstances.

Families during the period were typically large and with both parents working, there was little time left over for individual attention. The only time they did receive personal attention was when they were sick and took full advantage when they did receive it.

As mentioned in other segments, the parent-child relationship differed depending on the age and/or sex of the child. Girls did more chores, while boys received more schooling. The eldest girl would oftentimes be given the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings. An elder boy would sometimes be asked to look after younger ones as well. Birth order and gender determined amount of responsibility as well as the amount of schooling and affection a child received.

Despite any conflicts within the family and in order to survive, the working class family all worked together to keep themselves clothed,fed and a roof over their heads. While the parents had the bulk of the responsibility, the children would join in just as soon as they were able with performing chores and as they got older, engaging in paid employment as early as age 7 but more predominantly at age 9 or 10. Privileges; i.e. leisure time, went to those siblings with paid employment. In most cases, the girls whose duties would revolve around the house, would find themselves still working long after their brothers had returned home from their place of employment.

In some cases, the pressure applied upon them by their parents made the children resent the jobs they were asked to do; while those in more settled environments were happy to be able to contribute.

With such large families to support and health conditions being what they were, it was not uncommon for a family to lose at least one member. While the loss of a father put an inordinate amount of stress on the mother, a mother's loss was felt as well. Widows had the most incentive to remarry, while a widower would not remarry as soon or at all if an older daughter took on the role of "mother" to her siblings. And while the loss of a sibling did not overall disrupt the household, it led to emotional difficulty. The emotional effect brought about the death was even worse as it was typical during the period to have the deceased family member kept in the home prior to the burial.

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